Our journey has taken us on many winding roads and has many speed bumps in it. It is a long and hard journey but what I am learning that it is not just about us starting a family and welcoming a precious bundle into our home, life and hearts but it is also about learning who we are as individuals and as a couple. The past few months have been incredibly bumpy I have been off meds on meds and on different meds all which change how I am feeling and how I deal with situations, the poor little souls in my class never know what expect from Teacher Jess and my long suffering amazing husband has been incredibly patient and understanding. I have started a number of blog posts that I have not completed and obviously not posted. I recently went for blood tests and am eagerly awaiting the results. Am secretly hoping it will shine some light on our issues and get us a step closer to our family.
I had a wonderful video chat with the most precious little princess that currently walks this earth, yes I know I am bias but my niece is too special. She showed me how lucky I am to have her in my life even if I don’t get to see her or talk that often, she is a blessing and I know her little brother is going to be as much of a blessing and just as special.
I don’t know where we are going I don’t know what is going to happen and for now I need to be ok with that I have to believe that there is a plan for us and that at some stage we will be able to see the bigger picture. For now I have a heart that is full of love for my niece and nephew, for special friends kids and the precious kids at school. But there are gaps there 2 gaps that were for the 2 babies we have lost but not forgotten and there is a special place I am saving for one day when we welcome our own bundle of joy into the world.
As we travel along the path we are meeting amazing people who inspire us and help to carry us when we need it. We are incredibly grateful for the love and support we have received from people you have no idea how much it means to us. The hug in the morning at the school gate the gentle reassurance that we are not alone and not on this path by ourselves. Without our village we would not be able to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and carry on. Thank you from the bottom of a full and happy heart.
My Path Love Jess 